Pathological Dormancy

So I'm logging into my account on the computer in the house, which I rarely use, since the one in the garage uses Linux which will forever beat the pants off Windows, and I noticed the 'Blogger' button on my browser toolbar. Huh. I have a blog.

So yeah, I'm still here, but no, I have nothing good to say.

Bye.

ps- I'll try to remember to put a button on my garage computer so all the person who follows me can keep up with all the exciting stuff I don't do.

bye-
tobiishi

new twitter presence:

Tobiishi

Pah.

pf. chyu. as if.

quiet

everything is already here
moving at a good speed
residing in the right place
smelling like fresh-baked bread.
vibrating
as if everything wants to be
alive.
the temple shines
the grass greens
the bell sounds all over the world.
all is holy
in the perfect unholy sense
in the faith of itself
and the smell of all there is...

tobiishi sink into the soil
are overcome by ivy and moss.

but the garden path is still there.
the tea house slumbers,
the twigs in their vase await,

tea will come again
in its own time.


gassho from my knees
tobiishi

Vow of Poverty

In order to pursue the question of whether ethical discipline follows in the footsteps of physical discipline, I am preparing to take a 6 month vow of poverty, much as a Buddhist monk would do upon entering a monastery. The rule:

-I will carry no money, unless for a specific purchase; I will purchase nothing for myself besides hygene items or food.
-I will eat only three times per day, a portion of moderation, consisting of vegetarian fare only.
-I will consume no intoxicants, including caffeine.
-I will sit zazen no less than 60 minutes per day.

To commence for a period of six months beginning 12:am June 21.

gassho,
tobiishi

Senility

Apparently I'm losing my mind, because I posted the same 'Name' topic twice, not remembering the first one.

Name

Old name: Tobiah - which is Hebrew for 'God is Good'

New name: Tobiishi (pronounced Tow-be-e-she) - which is Japanese for 'Stepping Stones'

Just another step in the right direction.

Ideogram for Tobiishi: 飛石

Time

Time is a delusion.
All is as it must be,
altogether now.

the mural that is reality
is eight-billion times larger
than anything we can paint.

it fits inside the nucleus
of a hydrogen atom.

there is no past to regret.
the past is now, just like now.

there is no future to wish for.
the future is now, just like now.

we make time in our minds.
your mind, and my mind,
are now, just like now,
one mind-

inside the nucleus of a hydrogen atom.


gassho
Tobiishi

Name

Old name: Tobiah, which means "God is good"

New name: tobi-ishi, which means "stepping stone"

I woke up this morning without any doubts of the fact that man created God in his own image. Kinda makes the old name obsolete.

Non-Smoker's Anniversary

4 months today

Two thumbs up to Heisei Japanese restaurant in Lafayette, IN- took my son and his girl there for lunch today, and it was awesome! First time for all three of us at a real Japanese restaurant, and we were all impressed not only with the food, but also the presentation and the atmosphere. Heisei is in a strip mall, but once inside you can't tell. There are two sections of raised and carpeted floor for sitting cross-legged (or full-lotus, which both the teenagers could do, but not my old bones) and a center section of standard tables and chairs.

We all got sushi, but I went the extra step and ordered a combo with sashimi (raw, unadorned slivers of fish)- excellent. This was my first sashimi, and I didn't know what to expect. It was not tough, not stringy, and not icky- truly unique and tasty. The slivered ginger root (I ate all three portions) was a nice touch, and the sticky rice wasn't over-vinagered like the cheaper rolls tend to be locally.

Altogether a fine experience, and well worth the hour drive!

Wolf Park, Lafayette IN 5/09/09
Photo by Tobiah

Random Candy

Click HERE for George Carlin's all-time best bit.

On a side note, I think the most ferocious variety of every animal should get the "Grizzly" prefix before its name (e.g. Grizzly Chicken, Grizzly Sheep, etc.)

If you were a fish in the ocean and you got a paper cut, it would hurt like hell all the time.

You will never meet the most reclusive person in the world.

Toppling

Its difficult to be a fence-sitting agnostic in the face of "The God Delusion" by Richard Dawkins. This guy has his shit together, lemme tell ya. He's also very passionate about the subject of atheism, so if you are fence sitting, don't change your mind on the basis of just one book, as would be easy for some people in the face of Dawkins' logic and reason.

I have had nothing really interesting to say for several days now, and today is no different.

Saturn!

I got to see Saturn last weekend! Family & I were camping with our Boy Scout troop and there was an observatory area at the campground, with four first-class telescopes set up- I saw Saturn through a 16" refracting Mead, awesome sight- like a tiny, perfect painting of Saturn, with very distinct rings and 3 moons! Also saw the M13 star cluster, which was like seeing ten times the number of stars we have in our night sky, compressed into a circle about 1 inch across.

We here on Earth are extremely small, relative to the extremely big rest-of-it-all!

Click on Saturn to see the Prairie Grass Observatory--->

Best Collection Ever

http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/wayoflife/04/24/collector.art.exhibit/index.html

Don't miss the link about halfway down the article titled "The Lab: Andrew Novick's list of stuff"

The garden is coming along well- last year it was too far from the house, with trees between it and us, and the deer and rabbits decimated it. Actually, decimated only meant 10%, and it was more like they ate all the peas and most of the cucumber shoots. So anyway. This year we started to put raised beds with homemade soil along the sunny part of the driveway, but quickly decided it was too windy. Now it's in the front yard, which is the best idea yet. We have new plants in the garage under glow lights (the DEA would think we're growing pot if they flew over with their infrared cameras) and about 120 square feet of dirt ready for planting. I'm glad I won't have to pick weeds this year, although last year it was more like constantly lamenting the presence of weeds I didn't have the gumption to pick. So in a few months we will be eating tomatoes, watermellon, conteloupe, lettuce, cucumbers, onions, potatoes, leeks, chard, radishes, whoknowswhatthefuckelse, and all fresh and free (kinda) and yummy. And Bear (the golden retriever) will keep the deer, rabbits, squirrels, woodpeckers, robins, moles, chipmunks, lizards, ghosts, bums, low-flying aircraft and llamas away from the tender vegetables. Have a nice day.

Trippy

Instructions for seeing the back of your own head:

1. Find a simple stick about a foot long.
2. Push it a bit into the ground so it stands on its own.
3. Study the stick from a standing position.
4. Lay down next to the stick and put your eye as close to it as you can, still facing up.
5. Study the stick from this new position.

This process is the same as stopping and letting your self take another step forward, so that you see the back of your own head (which is impossible).

This is what happens when I take metaphor a step beyond the normal literary or comparative application. It means doing something out of the ordinary, something no one would do on purpose (except me, I guess) in order to develop a metaphor for something that's hard to think about, like looking at the back of your own head (in real life, not in a mirror), or infinity, or enlightenment. There are things going on all around me I was never aware of before I started hanging out with all you other stoners- I mean, Zen practitioners, and this is my way of packaging them so I can examine them and poke them with a stick.

I was at work a few hours ago, doing maintenance on my machine. I was doing the Samu part, which involved solvent and rags and sweaty rubber gloves. I knew that when I finished, I could go home a couple hours early and dash to the computer to talk to the people in my head (that's you) so I was working along at a good clip, being all efficient and cleaning every part in the same order, not really thinking about anything- you know, absorbed in my work. Then I realized, with a bit of bewilderment, that there was a conversation going on in my head between an elderly Nazi prison camp guard and a tribunal judge. You may have heard about this guy almost getting deported to Germany from America a day or so ago. Well, he was pleading his case in court, IN MY HEAD, and I wasn't in charge of the dialogue.

WTF?

Of course, the same thing happens in dreams, no big deal. But it took me a minute to put that together. What stuck with me was the fact that there was thinking going on while I was awake, to which I became consciously privy after it was already going on for a while. That still weirds me out a bit when I think about it too hard.

I know this is normal, but I have never picked it apart (or poked it with a stick) before, and being Buddhist kinda shines a new light on it.

The point is, while mindlessly (mindfully?) doing my work, I walked up behind myself and looked at the back of my own head. It still freaks me out.

Just Kidding...

I was just kidding about wanting a burger. Who wants a burger? Not me, for sure. Burgers are boring. I'd rather have some asparagus or rice or dirt or something. Burgers are for stupid.

Or ground-up glass. I could have some of that with soy sauce and garlic. But a burger? No thanks.

Vegetables Suck

Hint of the Day:

When you're trying to be a vegetarian, don't watch Emeril cooking on TV.

I want gumbo.

I want a fucking cheeseburger.

Monday.

(shiver)

Happy Birthday to 1/7th of the world's population!

purging in t-minus 4...3...2...1...

acid.
recrimination.
parenthetic dibilitations.
disharmonious regurgitations.
nonunified ungregariousness squared.
bleak and blundersome foraging through rancid rememberings.

...

...

the putrid leprosotic gangling zombies of tax-evading lesbian dental hygenists.


good god, i'm glad i finally got that out of my system.

(tobiah collapses unconscious)

Um...

Only click on this link if you're in the proper mood.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPb9SOO33TY

divisive concepts unglue the soul

From Tobiah's deluded Muse:

she walked in the garden and
stepped on every neglected stone and
wished for things...
things did not come.
every day in the garden
the morning dew held the sun-
facets, glints and bits of mirror,
in which she placed hope,
in which the sun existed
for her,
for she never looked up,
where the source passed...
she never saw the sun,
but only the sun's story
in the garden.

was it only a story?
or is the garden also the sun?

the motivation of dog

i watch my dog playing with a cardboard tube... he's destroying it. therefore i'm thinking, "he wants to destroy that cardboard tube." but does he? how could i know what he's thinking? maybe he wants to make love to the cardboard tube, but in his frustration over the tube's inactivity and failure to respond to his advances, this is as close as he can get. maybe he wants to commune on a metaphysical level with it. maybe he doesn't want anything, and in his dog-world this is the natural interaction between dog and cardboard.

on another level, how can i possibly know what another person wants? and therefore how can i observe them and judge what they are doing and why? (all questions of moral objectivity and natural human ethics aside)

on still another level, how do i know what i want, why i do things, what my motivations are? i am not a little man at the controls of my body and mind. i have no objective theater-seat from which to observe myself. everything i think is filtered through everything i think.

oh, shit.

Honey Salmon

with garlic, soy sauce, fresh squeezed orange juice, grated ginger... marinate 1/2 hr., broil or grill... romaine salad with black beans, chick peas, mushrooms, radish, edamame on the side... glass of something, dish of soy/wasabi for the brown basmati rice coming off the stove right now- bye

Curmudgeon

word of the day. don't be one.

Bbbbppbbhphphbb...

raspberries is the first sound many babies make. they make it with their bum, then with their mouth. they see us smile when they do it, they do it some more... we laugh, they smile, they do it again. raspberries is the Primal Noise, from which all joy and human progress have received their significance and importance.

give someone a raspberries. if you know them really well, give 'em one on the belly- those are the best. just ask a baby.

definition

forensis: latin; public

felicitate: wish happiness to

this means you.